Your Influence Matters More Than You Think: How Parents Shape Young Adults’ Choices About Alcohol

EP Leadership
May 15
3 min read

As our kids grow into young adults, it can feel like they’re pulling away. They become more independent, spend less time at home, and make more of their own choices. But here’s the truth that often gets overlooked:

Parents are still the #1 influence on their children's decisions to drink—or not drink—alcohol.

Even when they act like they aren’t listening, they’re watching. They’re absorbing how you handle stress, how you celebrate wins, and how you set boundaries. In short, they’re learning from you every day.

If you want your teen to make smart choices about alcohol, it starts with what you model at home.

Leading by Example: What They See Is What They Learn

Teens and young adults are keen observers. They notice more than you think:

Do you pour a drink after every stressful day?They’re learning that alcohol is a way to cope with emotions.
Do you joke about “needing a drink” to unwind?That sends a message that alcohol is a normal go-to solution.
Do you drink and drive “just down the road”?You’re showing them that bending the rules is okay when it’s convenient.
Do you set clear limits for yourself and stick to them?Now they see what responsible drinking looks like.

If you want your teen to pause and make mindful decisions when offered alcohol, they need to see you doing the same. Not once, but consistently.

Conversations That Equip, Not Lecture

While your example speaks volumes, open conversations are where real learning happens. This isn’t about one big, awkward “talk.” It’s about steady, ongoing discussions that build their confidence and decision-making skills.

Here are essential topics to cover:

1. Family Values & Boundaries

Be clear about where your family stands on alcohol.

“In our family, we don’t drink underage. We respect the law and your health.”
“At home, celebrations don’t have to include alcohol to be meaningful.”
Reinforce that your rules come from a place of care, not control.

2. Peer Pressure Scenarios

Help your teen think through situations they might face.

What will they say when a friend pressures them to drink?
How can they excuse themselves from risky situations?
Practice responses like:
- “I’ve got an early morning workout—no thanks.”
- “I’m driving tonight, so I’m keeping it sober.”
- “Not really my thing, but thanks for the invite.”

3. Safety First, No Exceptions

Reinforce non-negotiables:

Always wear a seatbelt.
Never ride with a driver who has been drinking or using substances.
Use rideshare apps or call you for a safe ride—no judgment.
Establish a “safe word” they can text you if they need an out.

4. Managing Stress & Social Anxiety

Graduation, summer parties, and heading to college bring new pressures. Discuss healthy coping strategies:

Exercise, mindfulness, and hobbies for stress relief.
Setting personal boundaries in social settings.
Surrounding themselves with friends who respect their choices.

Graduation, Summer, and College: Critical Moments for Reinforcement

As your teen graduates, gears up for summer celebrations, or prepares to leave for college, these milestones come with more freedom—and more opportunities for risky choices.

Your influence doesn’t stop when they get their diploma or move into a dorm. In fact, this is when your steady example and conversations pay off.

Remind them:

Their choices now can impact their health, safety, and future opportunities.
You’re always a call away, no matter where they are.
Being mindful, not impulsive, is a sign of real independence.

Together, We Shape the Future

When parents, educators, and community leaders send consistent messages about alcohol use, we build a stronger, safer path for our young adults. But it starts with you.

Your example.Your conversations.Your support.

They’re watching. They’re listening. And your influence matters.