Bullying and Youth Mental Health: What Every Adult Should Know

Why this matters

Bullying isn’t “kids being kids.” It’s a public health issue that can derail a young person’s mental health, academics, and sense of safety—online and in real life. In the most recent national data, reports of being bullied at school increased between 2021 and 2023, underscoring why families, schools, and communities need a game plan now. CDC

What counts as bullying?

Bullying is repeated, unwanted, aggressive behavior that involves a real or perceived power imbalance (age, popularity, social status, group size, physical strength, access to embarrassing content, etc.). It shows up in several forms:

• Physical: hitting, pushing, tripping, or damaging belongings

• Verbal: name‑calling, insults, threats

• Social/relational: rumor‑spreading, exclusion, embarrassment

• Cyberbullying: harmful posts, messages, doxxing, or sharing private images/content online

  

That power imbalance and repetition are what make bullying different from a one‑time conflict. StopBullying.gov

How common is it?

• At school: In 2021–22, about 19% of U.S. students ages 12–18 reported being bullied “during school” (includes the school day, bus, to/from school, and use of phone/internet during those times). Girls reported higher rates than boys (22% vs. 17%). The most common experiences were being the subject of rumors (13%) and name‑calling (12%). National Center for Education Statistics

• Trend: Among high schoolers specifically, the share who reported being bullied at school rose from 15% (2021) to 19% (2023). CDC

• Online: Nearly half of U.S. teens (46%) say they’ve ever experienced at least one form of cyberbullying (name‑calling, rumor‑spreading, etc.). And among students who were bullied during school, about 1 in 5 (22%) said the bullying happened online or by text. Pew Research CenterNational Center for Education Statistics

  
  

Who’s most affected? Middle schoolers more than high schoolers; girls more than boys; and rates vary across race/ethnicity and school setting. Social media also plays a role: frequent use is linked to higher reports of bullying victimization (in‑person and electronic) and worse mental health indicators in 2023 data. National Center for Education StatisticsCDC

What bullying does to mental health (short‑ and long‑term)

Bullying is not just hurt feelings—it’s a risk factor for real mental health problems.

Short‑term impacts can include:

• Persistent sadness or hopelessness, anxiety, irritability

• Sleep and appetite changes

• School avoidance and trouble concentrating

• Lower self‑esteem, social withdrawal, and somatic complaints (headaches, stomachaches)

  
  

  

High‑frequency social media use is associated with more bullying, more sadness/hopelessness, and higher suicide risk indicators (considering a suicide attempt or making a plan) among high school students, according to CDC’s 2023 YRBS analysis. That doesn’t prove social media causes those outcomes, but the association is strong enough to take seriously. CDC

Long‑term risks are real. A 2023 meta‑analysis (31 studies, 133,688 youth) found that young people who are bullied have 2.77x higher odds of depression than those who aren’t. Those who both bully others and are bullied have the highest risk. PMC

Cyberbullying: why it hits differently

Cyberbullying often feels inescapable: it can happen 24/7, follow kids into their bedrooms, and spread quickly to large audiences. Research shows many teens experience both in‑person and online bullying—so it’s not either/or; it’s cumulative stress that can amplify anxiety and depressive symptoms. Pew Research Center

The 2023 national survey also ties frequent social media use to higher reports of electronic bullying and suicide risk indicators, especially among girls and many LGBQ+ students—another sign we need better digital habits and safer platforms. CDC

Warning signs adults should watch for

Not every child will tell you they’re being bullied. Common red flags include:

• Unexplained injuries or damaged/missing belongings

• Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or “I feel sick” school avoidance

• Sleep problems, nightmares, or sudden changes in eating

• Declining grades, loss of interest in activities, or fewer friends

• Sudden irritability, low self‑esteem, talk of feeling “worthless,” self‑harm signals

  
  

These signs can also point to other issues (depression, substance use), so the next step is a calm, supportive conversation and, if needed, professional help. StopBullying.gov

Protective factors: what actually helps

The good news: certain supports lower risk and buffer stress.

1) School connectedness

When students feel that adults and peers at school genuinely care about them, they have lower rates of a wide range of health risks, including poor mental health and violence‑related experiences. Building connectedness isn’t fluffy—it’s evidence‑based prevention. CDC+1

2) Whole‑school approaches

Programs that improve the overall social climate and involve everyone—students, families, teachers, bus drivers, cafeteria staff—tend to outperform one‑off assemblies or “zero tolerance” policies. Zero tolerance/automatic expulsion, by itself, does not work and can backfire. StopBullying.gov

3) Evidence‑based anti‑bullying programs

A comprehensive meta‑analysis found school programs reduce bullying perpetration by ~18–19% and victimization by ~15–16% on average. Results vary, but the takeaway is clear: well‑implemented programs make a measurable difference. PMC

4) Family communication and adult responsiveness

Youth are more likely to report bullying and seek help when adults listen, document, and act consistently (without blaming the child). Clear, enforced expectations for online behavior plus private, judgment‑free check‑ins about what kids see online help a lot. StopBullying.gov

What parents and caregivers can do (today)

Start the conversation early and keep it going. 

Ask open‑ended questions:

• “If someone was mean online, what would you do next?”

• “Who would you talk to at school if something felt unsafe?”Normalize asking for help, and make it clear you won’t overreact—you’ll respond with them, not at them. StopBullying.gov

  
  

Set digital guardrails together. Co‑create a family tech plan: device‑free sleep, app privacy settings, “no screenshots without consent,” and a plan for reporting/blocking abusive accounts. Remind them to save evidence (screenshots, URLs, dates) if cyberbullying happens. StopBullying.gov

Loop in the school early. Ask for the school’s reporting process, code of conduct, and how they track incidents. Share documentation and agree on a follow‑up date. Schools that consistently teach and reinforce pro‑social behavior—and respond quickly—see better outcomes. SchoolSafety.gov

Watch for mental health changes. Sudden shifts in sleep, appetite, grades, or social circles are worth a check‑in. If you’re worried about safety or self‑harm, call/text 988 (24/7) or contact local crisis resources. StopBullying.gov

What schools can do (that works)

• Teach and reteach expectations for how students should treat one another—in classrooms, hallways, buses, activities, and online. Make it visible and consistent. StopBullying.gov

• Build connectedness: staff training on inclusive classroom management, student‑led clubs that foster belonging, and clear safe spaces/people. Connected students are healthier students. CDC

• Adopt evidence‑based programs and evaluate fidelity. Use data (climate surveys, incident trends) to drive improvement rather than relying on “one big assembly.” PMC

• Engage families with practical resources on reporting, documenting, and supporting kids—especially for cyber incidents. StopBullying.gov

  
  

  

Special note on social media

The latest CDC analysis shows 77% of high school students use social media several times a day, and frequent users report more bullying, more sadness/hopelessness, and higher suicide‑risk indicators. Again: correlation ≠ causation; some teens also find crucial support online. But given the signal, it’s wise to tighten digital habits, teach critical media skills, and push platforms/schools to make reporting tools easy and effective. CDC

A quick checklist for adults

• Ask: “Have you seen anyone getting picked on online or at school lately?”

• Observe: Watch for warning signs without jumping to conclusions. StopBullying.gov

• Document: Dates, screenshots, usernames, locations. StopBullying.gov

• Report: Use school procedures and platform tools; escalate if safety is at risk. SchoolSafety.gov

• Follow up: Revisit in a week; keep lines open.

• Protect mental health: If risk is elevated, contact 988 (call/text/chat) or your local crisis line. StopBullying.gov

  
  

Bottom line

Bullying can seriously harm youth mental health—right now and years down the road. But it’s also preventable. When schools build connected communities, families keep steady communication, and platforms and adults respond quickly, kids feel safer—and the data shows outcomes improve. The rise in school bullying from 2021 to 2023 is a wake‑up call. The next move is ours.